So Saturday’s must be my deep thinking days because lately, each Saturday I awake with some deep thoughts on my mind. This morning I awoke thinking about how much I’m changing, and about what a different, broader, and more mature place I am coming into.
I got saved years ago, and for years my difficulty has been bridging the gap between my unsaved friends and my saved friends. I’ve gone through many phases throughout the years. Phases where my unsaved friends would be on Facebook, while my saved friends are on MySpace. Then it transitioned to deleting all my unsaved friends, cutting them out of my life, and having only my saved friends on Facebook. My reasons for doing these things were justified at the time…I was a new Christian and I didn’t want to be tempted by pictures of all my old friends out at clubs, “having fun”, etc. I also didn’t want to log onto my Facebook and see lewd or raunchy jokes anymore, because that just wasn’t me.
All of this led up to where I am, where I am EXTREMELY selective about who I add to my Facebook. For me to add you we had to be friends, I had to know that your lifestyle matched up to mine, and that I “approved”.
However that has been changing, and honestly it started when I began adding some of the amazing people who I’ve met through the Disney Internship page. I realized that my censure in adding people to my Facebook really came from a place of fear that was deep on the inside of me. The embarrassing truth is that I didn’t want to be contaminated, or I didn’t want other people’s lifestyle’s etc, to rub off on me. I’m realizing now, that I was so insecure and unstable in my own Christianity that I was afraid I would fall if I allowed other people into my circle that weren’t like me. Then, there was that people pleasing side of me that was afraid that if people knew who I really was, if people knew that at my core I am a Christian who LOVES Jesus with all my heart, that they wouldn’t like me, or they’d push me away. So the simple remedy for that…create my own small world, where my friendships are safe, everyone is the same, and there aren’t really many risks, so there’s not as much hurt either.
Thank goodness that without even thinking about it I am breaking out of that world. I have met the most amazing people lately, and (SHOCKINGLY) I’ve been adding them to my Facebook. And what I’m realizing is that the presence of an unsaved person in my life, doesn’t and shouldn’t dilute who I am. Socializing with an unsaved person doesn’t water down my Christianity. Their presence doesn’t bring me down or change me, and nothing should…because I know who I am.
So….I’m finding that it’s time for me to embrace others as they are, because in embracing them I’m also embracing myself. And I think that is how you really find true friends. When your willing to stop hiding, when your willing to stop changing who you are based on who your with, when your willing to run the risk of having people finding out who you are and then deciding that they don’t like you, this is how you find true friends that take you for who you are. This is also how you embrace yourself 🙂
Love you guys 🙂