I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last true post. Early August is the last time I posted and I couldn’t stand being away any longer, I had to come back and update you all on the changes and finally….the resolutions that have finally come to some painful issues in my life.
I guess the best place to start would be to fill you all in on the internal processes that I was going through around the time that I stopped writing back in early August. First off, (I hate to bring up old wounds but I must be honest with myself) around early August I was still very upset and hurt with my close friends not being there when my brother had a stroke in April. The fact that I was still upset about it really beat me up, because it was 5 MONTHS AGO, yet I still couldn’t get over the hurt,and I didn’t now what to do with the fact that my friends aren’t the friends I thought they were. Secondly, I couldn’t get away from the gnawing feeling inside that my time in my current city has come to an end. This gnawing feeling has been with me all year and has been accompanied by several dreams. I don’t know if you can relate, but South Florida is where I’ve grown up and it’s where all my family is, but more and more I feel like my time here has come to an end, and that this season has run dry.
So these big issues were what was weighing heavy on me in early August.
After talking,and talking, and talking to a few friends…I’ve finally, truly come to a place where I have let my old fiends and my expectations of them go. I think the basic truth is that in my mind our friendship was more than what it really was, and in the end all I can do is let go. It’s still awkward for me to be around them, and I admit there’s still a bit of bitterness I carry, but I trust and believe that in time that will fade.
Now we get to the awesome part!!!! 🙂 So I’m in my last year of college, and I’m getting everything in order for graduation. As I was speaking to an advisor last month, they let me know that it is required I do an internship in my field in order to graduate. So…I randomly start looking up internships and what should I run across, except the Disney Professional Internship program with the Walt Disney Company. The more I look into the internship, the more I become convinced that this is what I want to do. So…long story short, I’ve decided that I’ll be applying for the program that begins in Fall of 2013. If I get in, I’ll be in Orlando for about a year, and the experience I’ve gained from the program will open up many doors for me to travel and go God knows where!
So, I am hopeful and optimistic about the future. Having these big issues resolved gives me lots more peace. I’m embracing the year ahead with the mentality that this may be my last year in South Florida, so I’m cherishing everything, and spending time with my loved ones and doing things that I enjoy.
Finally, my smile has come back, and I’m overjoyed.