Today is the last day of the month of June. That will mark 6 months into this journey of coming into personal freedom. I initially pegged this as a yearlong journey, and as such it seems only proper that I give a sixth month/halfway mark update .
These past 6 months have been full of so many ups and downs for me. There’s been so much to happen from family relationships being restored, to friend relationships placed in their proper place, to grappling with inner dreams and hopes, to job loss. It’s been an eventful 6 months and honestly, I wouldnt trade anything about it for the world….even the “negative” things.
Of everything that I’ve learned this past year the most resounding thing in my heart is
1. To be grateful for everything. Expect nothing.
That statement is coming from the most joyous and grateful place in my heart. If you follow this blog you will know how saddened I was by the lack of support shown from close friends when my brother had a stroke. However, being saddened by my friends lack of support mad me so extremely grateful for the support that we DID get, and for the love we WERE shown! In this life we can’t place our expectations on other people ,people aren’t here to please us and we are all full of faults. So I have learned to love and appreciate what people give, and let go of any expectations that I have. And that is a very freeing and liberating lace to be.
Another thing resounding in my heart as I look back is thought
2. That I have every right to be happy.
I don’t have to earn the right to be happy, I don’t have to work for it. Gods desire is for me to have joy. I’ve spent the beginning half of this year in turmoil over should I pursue the God given skills, desires that God has placed within me or should I stay where I am. And after much prayer God has made it clear that instead of seeking comfort, wealth, status, etc….he wants me to build life and live out of the desires he’s placed inside of me. In this life we aren’t meant to live from the outside and then in…..meaning we don’t depend on external things (such as jobs, wealth, status, etc.) to fulfill us and make us happy. Life comes from living from the inside then out…..meaning get quiet, and listen to the things God is speaking to your heart. That still quiet voice on the inside of us, informs our decisions, and once we follow that the outside things will line up.
So those are the two major things resonating on my heart as I leave these past 6 months behind and enter the latter portion of this year. I saw “leave behind” because what has happened has happened, and I won’t dwell on the past and obsess about what I wish had gone differently.
Tomorrow is a new day, a new season, and I’m so grateful and happy to be alive and to see what God has in store.